| | ... that swept the past away
"I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now
Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all"
-Field of Innocence by Evanescence
I remember the days when my greatest joy was to obey my mother's every word to the best of my ability; to receive a pat on the head with a smile and the words "Good job!" was life's greatest reward.
When before I worked so, so hard to memorize the multiplication table just so I could always be the first student to finish the math test and still get perfect, and go home to hear Mom's laugh while I brag to her of my accomplishments- now, I'm too lazy to even start on my math homework until 10pm, and stay up knowing that Mom was next door, twisting and turning in bed, worrying about my health.
When before I worked so, so hard to stretch whenever I have the chance and to focus in dance class just so I could earn that "scholarship for excellent performance", and go home to see Mom's face beaming with pride, holding the check tight in my little chubby hands- now, I get a small ankle injury and I stop dancing, only because I wanted more time to indulge myself at home knowing that whenever Mom eyes my ankle with a frown, she is worrying about my safety.
Even though I've changed, my mother has not.
She will always ask me in that gentle, caring voice, "Is schoolwork that's overwhelming you? Is there anything I can do to help lighten your load, so you can get a little more sleep?"
She will always ask me in that soft, concerned tone, "How's your ankle? Should I schedule an appointment with the physical therapist? Oh, here, let me get that for you, you'll hurt your foot if you stand on your toes like that."
Mom,
Why can't you see that when you wash all those plates emptied of all the food you woke up at 6 am to cook for me, the water soaks your hands and worsens the testimonial wrinkles of your labors?
Why can't you notice that when you unflaggingly work a job that makes you sit in front of the computer for eight hours every day just so I can go to a better college I'm not even working hard towards, you are tiring your eyes and worsening your eyesight, an eyesight that is already half blind?
And most of all, how can you be so selfless while I greedily take away your youth, your vision, everything I want, at your expense?
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| | Posted 1/11/2009 11:12 PM - 9 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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